When you work in the front yard and people walk by, they often want to lay some witty quip on you and then chuckle to themselves. My friend Kevin warned me about this even before we bought a house. He said, “If you buy a house and you work in the yard, you will hate it because people say things to you.” He knows me so well.

Here are some of the more memorable things people have actually said.

“Hey, that looks like a lotta work!”

It’s a classic and they can say it because it’s true. It is indeed a lot of work.

“Are you digging to China?”

No. No, I’m not.

“Oh man, I used to do that. Back breaking work, man.”

Thank you, sir. I appreciate the empathy.

“I guess you don’t have to exercise today.”

We live a block away from a gym, people pass by on their way there wearing ill-fitting spandex and carrying yoga mats. They’re jealous of my body.

“Are you digging a mass grave?”

That’s offensive, ma’am. Please leave.

“YOU ARE BULLSHIT! (pointing at me) YOU ARE BULLSHIT! (pointing at Diana) YOUR YARD IS BULLSHIT! (pushing over our wheelbarrow)“

Yup, somebody actually said that to us. Granted, she was high or drunk or something and I had just called the cops because she punched another woman in the face after stopping to help her when she spilled her baby out of her stroller. She lost her balance trying to get the damn thing on the curb. Yeah, that happened. It actually happened. On Monday. For the record, our yard is not bullshit.

Ok, you’re right. I sound like a grouch. I’m mostly kidding around anyway. Mostly.

There have actually been some really heartwarming moments too. People who have lived in the area for years, sharing stories of the trees we cut down from when they were younger. Neighbors stopping by to share words of encouragement and helpful advice. They wave and smile as they drive by. The experience has really helped me to feel a part of the neighborhood and more specifically our block, like paying my dues with callouses as currency. I’ve been out there a couple evenings a week and almost every weekend for almost two months. I’m finally starting to feel at home. 3 years since buying the house, I’m starting to feel at home.